NFL Season Predictions
Finally, after 212 days 7 hours and 10 minutes, ( that's right, I count down to the minute for football to return ;) ) NFL football is back! To me, there's nothing like that opening day kickoff of football season, where every team and every fan has hope that this might be their year. And then after that first kickoff usually Raiders, Jaguars, and Browns fan's start looking to next year and the changes they can make to actually stand a chance.
Replace "Mets" with a bad NFL team. ;)
As my loyal reader (singular) will know, I always post my predictions for the NFL season on the week of the first game. Usually it's just a bunch of nonsense that I decide to take an unflinchingly rigid stance on and argue with anyone and everyone who disagrees with me. If you disagree with me, that's fine. I can't force you to be smart. Believe it or not, I've actually predicted the last two Superbowl winners correctly in my season opening predictions. This could only mean 1 of 2 things: Either I am one of the great minds of our time (ask Wyatt Knobloch), or I've gotten extremely lucky two years in a row and have statistically almost no hope of predicting this years Superbowl winner right. I'll leave it up to you to decide which it is...
On to the predictions:
AFC
Ok, let me first say that the NFC is about 10 times better than the AFC any way you look at it. I would say that there are probably 3 teams from the AFC that could possibly make it to the Superbowl. And that's just because by rule, 1 team has to come out of the AFC. If the AFC teams had to face NFC teams in the playoffs, we'd be watching 2 NFC teams play in the Superbowl this year. They're that much better. However, since 1 team has to come out of the AFC, I'll go ahead and give my season predictions for the AFC.
East
Patriots win the division for the bazillionth time. Next.
Haha no seriously, as long as Tom Brady is under center, that division isn't going to belong to anyone else. The Jets are doing the smart thing be starting Geno Smith and letting him get some valuable experience. I'm assuming because they've realized that they have no chance of winning the division and they're basically going to spend the season under the mindset: "Eh, Why Not". The Dolphins and Bills are both moving in the right direction, but they're driving a Prius while the Patriots are still taking the Lamborghini up and down their field 4 weeks out of the year. Like a Prius, the Dolphins and the Bills are both efficient, and it may be smart in the long run, but it's going to take forever to get there.
New England Patriots 14 - 2
Buffalo Bills 5 - 11
Miami Dolphins 5 - 11
New York Jets 4 - 12
West
The Broncos start the season as the embarrassment of the NFL and they know it. You know how sometimes it's better not to show up to something than to show up late? The Broncos should have listened to this advice in regards to the Superbowl. Still, they have one of the best teams in the AFC (if that means anything), and are looking like they should be able to take the West once again. Chargers go 2 - 14. Just kidding Austin K. ;). I actually believe the Chargers will have another good year with their second season Mike McCoy. They have an underrated defense and Phillip Rivers proved last year that he can still make all the throws to be an all round good quarterback. Kansas City will take a step back this year because of a few offseason losses and because last year I think they kind of had the element of surprise. Teams facing Kansas City early last year were probably like "Eh, lets skip practice this week and go Mini Golfing. It's only the Chiefs". They have no such luxury this year. The Raiders choice to start Derek Carr over Matt Schaub is interesting, but more than anything, I think they were like:
"I don't get why the Texans let Matt Schaub go. Why would you let a good quarterback like him go? It just doesn't make any sen..... (Matt Schaub throws his first pass at camp)..... Oh. I get it." Have fun at the bottom again Oakland.
Denver Broncos 14 - 2
San Diego Chargers 11 - 5
Kansas City Chiefs 8 - 8
Oakland Raiders 1 - 15
North
This division is the second hardest to call in the NFL this year. I want to believe in the Bengals, but as I typed that, Andy Dalton threw another pick. I just don't think they're going anywhere with him at quarterback. They'll make the playoffs again as a wildcard, but that's mostly because the AFC is awful. The Steelers are about to start going to start a common mistake teams try: go through a rebuilding process while still trying to make it to the Superbowl. Trust me, you can either do one or the other. Not both. If you try to do both, you'll end up at 7-9 or 8-8 every year forever. And can we stop talking about the Browns already? Pleeeeaaaassse. Seriously, I've never seen a team that's going to inevitably suck, get so much media attention. I can tell you exactly what's going to happen with the Browns: They'll drop their first 3 games with Hoyer as quarterback. They'll buckle under the pressure and put Manziel in who will win 4 in a row against terrible teams and Cleveland fans with think he's the savior of the Browns..... until they play the next 9 games. Be default, I'm going to go with the Ravens to win the AFC North this year. They have a little easier schedule than the Bengals and I think they're one of the best run organizations in football.
Baltimore Ravens 11 - 5
Cincinnati Bengals 10 - 6
Pittsburgh Steelers 7 - 9
Cleveland Browns 6 - 10
South
While the North was one of the hardest divisions to pick, this one is actually the easiest. Even easier than the AFC East. The Colts should run away with this division for a couple of reasons: 1. They have the easiest schedule in the NFL. 2. They have Andrew Luck and the next best quarterback in this division is.... Blake Bortles maybe? and 3. All three other teams in this division should have records towards the bottom of the NFL. The Colts could probably take 4 weeks off and probably still win this division. The Texans were too busy oggling at Clowney to remember that they need a quarterback. The Titans basically decided that they're now Jets fans so they can watch Chris Johnson and pretentiously say "We used to play with that guy" to people. The Jaguars are actually the only team in this division other than the Colts that are actually heading in a direction I like (boy, I thought I'd never say that). If they put Bortles in as quarterback, he won't win them many games this year, but down the line, he could turn into a solid quarterback for the Jags.
Indianapolis Colts 13 - 3
Houston Texans 5 - 11
Jacksonville Jaguars 3 - 13
Tennessee Titans 3 - 13
NFC
Ok, now it gets really interesting. The NFC is undeniably the superior conference mainly because the defenses are so much better. I believe the NFC has 6 teams that could win the Superbowl this year. And 4 of them would be favorites facing any team in the AFC. How do I see it shaking out you ask? Oh, you didn't ask... well too bad. I'm going to tell you anyway:
East
First of all, I don't care what anyone says, Nick Foles is not going to throw 27 touchdowns and only 2 picks this year. It simply won't happen. NFL teams spent the entire offseason analyzing his weaknesses and will exploit them any chance they get. To be successful as a quarterback in the NFL, you have to learn to overcome your weaknesses, because defenses will find them. Now i still think he'll have a good year and the Eagles will win their division, but he's not some superhuman quarterback. The Giants, much like the Steelers, are trying to do too much in one year. The Redskins just prove how dumb some fans are since they're screaming to start Cousins over RG3 before the seasons even started. I don't believe RG3 will have a good year mind you, but you basically invested in the guy for the future and your already screaming for someone else? That's like the hardcore Ravens fan who drafts all Steelers players. The Cowboys will find the bottom of the barrel this year. It actually won't be so much Romo's fault. It'll mainly be that their defense couldn't stop a JFL team, especially with Lee out.
Philadelphia Eagles 11 - 5
Washington Redskins 8 - 8
New York Giants 7 - 9
Dallas Cowboys 5 - 11
West
I really really really wanted to pick the 49ers here to come out of this division on top, but there's only so much shooting yourself in the foot I can take before I jump off the bandwagon, and Aldon Smith's suspension was the last straw. I still think they'll make the playoffs, but in the best division in football, you can't afford to lose anybody for any amount of time. You gotta feel bad for the Rams. It's like having a reoccuring nightmare every year.... and you never wake up. The Cardinals have potential to be good this year, but not great. So basically the same as every other year. I think the Seahawks come out of this division once again, but there is a difference: they are not the #1 seed in the NFC this year.....
Seattle Seahawks 13 - 3
San Francisco 49ers 12 - 4
Arizona Cardinals 9 - 7
St Louis Rams 7 - 9
North
Belive it or not, I actually think the Packers and Bears will tie in record this year. Now I still think the Packers will win the division (i'm not that crazy), but I do think the Bears will make the playoffs this year. Their offense is the same and their defense couldn't possibly be worse than last year. The Vikings will be at the bottom again and my bet is that the next offseason rumors are going to involve Peterson moving to a team where he actually has a chance. And as always, I believe the Lions will start out good enough and eventually find a way to screw everything up and miss the playoffs.
Green Bay Packers 11 - 5
Chicago Bears 11 - 5
Detroit Lions 7 - 9
Minnesota Vikings 3 - 13
South
This is one of the most interesting divisions this year. The Falcons should bounce back considerably, the Panthers should fall back to Earth and the Buccaneers will have a great season with the good ol' Lovie Smith playbook: Run, Run, Pass, Punt. (Which is why I drafted Doug Martin in my fantasy draft, thank you very much) This Division ultimately will be the Saints to lose. They are undoubtedly the best team in this division on paper and on the field.
New Orleans Saints 14 - 2
Carolina Panthers 7 - 9
Atlanta Falcons 6 - 10
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 5 - 11
Superbowl Pick
With one of the easiest schedules in the NFL, a great quarterback, and a new offensive weapon in Brandin Cooks, I'll take the New Orleans Saints to win Superbowl XLIX over the New England Patriots. You heard it here first ;)
Replace "Mets" with a bad NFL team. ;)
As my loyal reader (singular) will know, I always post my predictions for the NFL season on the week of the first game. Usually it's just a bunch of nonsense that I decide to take an unflinchingly rigid stance on and argue with anyone and everyone who disagrees with me. If you disagree with me, that's fine. I can't force you to be smart. Believe it or not, I've actually predicted the last two Superbowl winners correctly in my season opening predictions. This could only mean 1 of 2 things: Either I am one of the great minds of our time (ask Wyatt Knobloch), or I've gotten extremely lucky two years in a row and have statistically almost no hope of predicting this years Superbowl winner right. I'll leave it up to you to decide which it is...
On to the predictions:
AFC
Ok, let me first say that the NFC is about 10 times better than the AFC any way you look at it. I would say that there are probably 3 teams from the AFC that could possibly make it to the Superbowl. And that's just because by rule, 1 team has to come out of the AFC. If the AFC teams had to face NFC teams in the playoffs, we'd be watching 2 NFC teams play in the Superbowl this year. They're that much better. However, since 1 team has to come out of the AFC, I'll go ahead and give my season predictions for the AFC.
East
Patriots win the division for the bazillionth time. Next.
Haha no seriously, as long as Tom Brady is under center, that division isn't going to belong to anyone else. The Jets are doing the smart thing be starting Geno Smith and letting him get some valuable experience. I'm assuming because they've realized that they have no chance of winning the division and they're basically going to spend the season under the mindset: "Eh, Why Not". The Dolphins and Bills are both moving in the right direction, but they're driving a Prius while the Patriots are still taking the Lamborghini up and down their field 4 weeks out of the year. Like a Prius, the Dolphins and the Bills are both efficient, and it may be smart in the long run, but it's going to take forever to get there.
New England Patriots 14 - 2
Buffalo Bills 5 - 11
Miami Dolphins 5 - 11
New York Jets 4 - 12
West
The Broncos start the season as the embarrassment of the NFL and they know it. You know how sometimes it's better not to show up to something than to show up late? The Broncos should have listened to this advice in regards to the Superbowl. Still, they have one of the best teams in the AFC (if that means anything), and are looking like they should be able to take the West once again. Chargers go 2 - 14. Just kidding Austin K. ;). I actually believe the Chargers will have another good year with their second season Mike McCoy. They have an underrated defense and Phillip Rivers proved last year that he can still make all the throws to be an all round good quarterback. Kansas City will take a step back this year because of a few offseason losses and because last year I think they kind of had the element of surprise. Teams facing Kansas City early last year were probably like "Eh, lets skip practice this week and go Mini Golfing. It's only the Chiefs". They have no such luxury this year. The Raiders choice to start Derek Carr over Matt Schaub is interesting, but more than anything, I think they were like:
"I don't get why the Texans let Matt Schaub go. Why would you let a good quarterback like him go? It just doesn't make any sen..... (Matt Schaub throws his first pass at camp)..... Oh. I get it." Have fun at the bottom again Oakland.
Denver Broncos 14 - 2
San Diego Chargers 11 - 5
Kansas City Chiefs 8 - 8
Oakland Raiders 1 - 15
North
This division is the second hardest to call in the NFL this year. I want to believe in the Bengals, but as I typed that, Andy Dalton threw another pick. I just don't think they're going anywhere with him at quarterback. They'll make the playoffs again as a wildcard, but that's mostly because the AFC is awful. The Steelers are about to start going to start a common mistake teams try: go through a rebuilding process while still trying to make it to the Superbowl. Trust me, you can either do one or the other. Not both. If you try to do both, you'll end up at 7-9 or 8-8 every year forever. And can we stop talking about the Browns already? Pleeeeaaaassse. Seriously, I've never seen a team that's going to inevitably suck, get so much media attention. I can tell you exactly what's going to happen with the Browns: They'll drop their first 3 games with Hoyer as quarterback. They'll buckle under the pressure and put Manziel in who will win 4 in a row against terrible teams and Cleveland fans with think he's the savior of the Browns..... until they play the next 9 games. Be default, I'm going to go with the Ravens to win the AFC North this year. They have a little easier schedule than the Bengals and I think they're one of the best run organizations in football.
Baltimore Ravens 11 - 5
Cincinnati Bengals 10 - 6
Pittsburgh Steelers 7 - 9
Cleveland Browns 6 - 10
South
While the North was one of the hardest divisions to pick, this one is actually the easiest. Even easier than the AFC East. The Colts should run away with this division for a couple of reasons: 1. They have the easiest schedule in the NFL. 2. They have Andrew Luck and the next best quarterback in this division is.... Blake Bortles maybe? and 3. All three other teams in this division should have records towards the bottom of the NFL. The Colts could probably take 4 weeks off and probably still win this division. The Texans were too busy oggling at Clowney to remember that they need a quarterback. The Titans basically decided that they're now Jets fans so they can watch Chris Johnson and pretentiously say "We used to play with that guy" to people. The Jaguars are actually the only team in this division other than the Colts that are actually heading in a direction I like (boy, I thought I'd never say that). If they put Bortles in as quarterback, he won't win them many games this year, but down the line, he could turn into a solid quarterback for the Jags.
Indianapolis Colts 13 - 3
Houston Texans 5 - 11
Jacksonville Jaguars 3 - 13
Tennessee Titans 3 - 13
NFC
Ok, now it gets really interesting. The NFC is undeniably the superior conference mainly because the defenses are so much better. I believe the NFC has 6 teams that could win the Superbowl this year. And 4 of them would be favorites facing any team in the AFC. How do I see it shaking out you ask? Oh, you didn't ask... well too bad. I'm going to tell you anyway:
East
First of all, I don't care what anyone says, Nick Foles is not going to throw 27 touchdowns and only 2 picks this year. It simply won't happen. NFL teams spent the entire offseason analyzing his weaknesses and will exploit them any chance they get. To be successful as a quarterback in the NFL, you have to learn to overcome your weaknesses, because defenses will find them. Now i still think he'll have a good year and the Eagles will win their division, but he's not some superhuman quarterback. The Giants, much like the Steelers, are trying to do too much in one year. The Redskins just prove how dumb some fans are since they're screaming to start Cousins over RG3 before the seasons even started. I don't believe RG3 will have a good year mind you, but you basically invested in the guy for the future and your already screaming for someone else? That's like the hardcore Ravens fan who drafts all Steelers players. The Cowboys will find the bottom of the barrel this year. It actually won't be so much Romo's fault. It'll mainly be that their defense couldn't stop a JFL team, especially with Lee out.
Philadelphia Eagles 11 - 5
Washington Redskins 8 - 8
New York Giants 7 - 9
Dallas Cowboys 5 - 11
West
I really really really wanted to pick the 49ers here to come out of this division on top, but there's only so much shooting yourself in the foot I can take before I jump off the bandwagon, and Aldon Smith's suspension was the last straw. I still think they'll make the playoffs, but in the best division in football, you can't afford to lose anybody for any amount of time. You gotta feel bad for the Rams. It's like having a reoccuring nightmare every year.... and you never wake up. The Cardinals have potential to be good this year, but not great. So basically the same as every other year. I think the Seahawks come out of this division once again, but there is a difference: they are not the #1 seed in the NFC this year.....
Seattle Seahawks 13 - 3
San Francisco 49ers 12 - 4
Arizona Cardinals 9 - 7
St Louis Rams 7 - 9
North
Belive it or not, I actually think the Packers and Bears will tie in record this year. Now I still think the Packers will win the division (i'm not that crazy), but I do think the Bears will make the playoffs this year. Their offense is the same and their defense couldn't possibly be worse than last year. The Vikings will be at the bottom again and my bet is that the next offseason rumors are going to involve Peterson moving to a team where he actually has a chance. And as always, I believe the Lions will start out good enough and eventually find a way to screw everything up and miss the playoffs.
Green Bay Packers 11 - 5
Chicago Bears 11 - 5
Detroit Lions 7 - 9
Minnesota Vikings 3 - 13
South
This is one of the most interesting divisions this year. The Falcons should bounce back considerably, the Panthers should fall back to Earth and the Buccaneers will have a great season with the good ol' Lovie Smith playbook: Run, Run, Pass, Punt. (Which is why I drafted Doug Martin in my fantasy draft, thank you very much) This Division ultimately will be the Saints to lose. They are undoubtedly the best team in this division on paper and on the field.
New Orleans Saints 14 - 2
Carolina Panthers 7 - 9
Atlanta Falcons 6 - 10
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 5 - 11
Superbowl Pick
With one of the easiest schedules in the NFL, a great quarterback, and a new offensive weapon in Brandin Cooks, I'll take the New Orleans Saints to win Superbowl XLIX over the New England Patriots. You heard it here first ;)
